


I do (not)

by hedicine, sweetsummerstyles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Exes to Lovers, F/M, Hand Jobs, Infidelity, M/M, Not Beta Read, Rimming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 15:59:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedicine/pseuds/hedicine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsummerstyles/pseuds/sweetsummerstyles
Summary: Louis and Eleanor are getting married. Harry is the wedding planner. Louis and Harry dated over 6 years ago and were madly in love. It's a disaster.





	1. Louis

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this fic was originally posted here https://archiveofourown.org/works/11727987/chapters/26494830#workskin (it's my own work but I deleted my old ao3) However this has been almost completely rewritten. There is much less sexual content in it. Louis doesn't and isn't able to perform sexually with Eleanor after meeting with Harry in this story. This version will be longer too and more developed than the other version. Please feel free to read the other version but you will need a ao3 account to do so. This fic here is private until I've completed it properly. When I have I will let you all know. I'd prefer if you didn't read this version until it is completed.

Louis and Eleanor went online to search for wedding planners, when a great website popped up!

It was called Stylesweddingplanner. For a moment the sight, made Louis think of his former boyfriend Harry Styles. He shook off the thought quickly, he was in love with Eleanor and was marrying her in 6 months time. ''Babe, this website seems great, we should contact them!''says Eleanor, excitedly.

''Okay love, I'll give them a call."

''Hi its Louis Tomlinson, I was calling on behalf of my fiance and I, we're getting married in six months and need a good wedding planner.''  
''How lovely, we'll be glad to help, I'll book you an appointment with Mr Styles for next Monday at 1pm. He'll be glad to help you.''  
''Thank you bye.''  
''Take care now, bye.''  
Shit! Louis thought the wedding planner was called Styles. He really hoped the planner was not a relative of Harry's or things could be very awkward or what if it was Harry himself? Don't be ridiculous Louis thought to himself, since when did Harry want to be a wedding planner? However it had been six long years since he had last seen his former love, since their relationship fell apart. Louis had always been desperate for closure and wished things hadn't ended the way he had. He shook his head and went to talk to his gorgeous fiance Eleanor.

''Darling, we have an appointment''Louis said fondly.

''Louis, that's fantastic news, I can't wait!"

Louis was glad to see Eleanor so happy, but he was very anxious about this mysterious Styles. Eleanor didn't know about his ex-boyfriend, she didn't even know he was bisexual and he wasn't about to tell her now. The very thought, made him sweat but what if the planner really was Harry? How would they cope and could he really have his ex-boyfriend plan the wedding for him and his future wife. No, it would be awkward and hurt them both. It would be like having Harry as his best man, the thought was laughable. He had once imagined that he would be marrying Harry and that they'd hire a surrogate and raise beautiful children together. He tried not to dwell to hard on this thought, he was happy now and had a beautiful fiance that he cared about very much and knew that his family adored. His family hadn't known that Harry was his boyfriend, they assumed he was just his best friend and they must of fallen out. Louis at the time was not ready to come out and that was what ended their relationship. Harry had desperately wanted to tell his friends and family that he was in love with Louis but Louis was scared and didn't let him. It was what they always fought about. Then Harry, got with _him,_ Nick fucking Grimshaw. Louis was suddenly consumed with jealousy.

He needed to stop this. He had no right to be jealous when he was the one who had wrecked his relationship with Harry. He lost the love of his life due to his stupidity. He did love Eleanor but she could never hold a candle to Harry and yet he is marrying her and Harry might be the fucking wedding planner. What has his life come to? He is dreading tomorrow. How could he possibly introduce Harry to Eleanor and vice versa? It might not even be Harry! He hopes it's not Gemma as she won't be happy with him because his 'friendship' is over with Harry. He feels a sweat coming on. He can't imagine seeing Harry after so many years. He wonders what he looks like now? He's probably still gorgeous. He has dark curls, emerald eyes and red plush lips. _God those lip, he still fantasizes about those lips wrapped around him. Eleanor has amazing lips too a lot like Harry's actually. Her hair is dark and curly and her eyes are a similar colour to Harry's and they both have legs for days. Yeah he has a type definitely._ _Danielle his previous girlfriend looked a lot like Harry and Eleanor too._

TBC


	2. Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is happy with Nick and their dog pig. When he gets a call for planning a wedding for Mr Tomlinson, he panics and prays it isn't for his Louis not that he belongs to Louis anymore, he loves Nick right?

Harry hangs up the phone. He panics it can't be Louis. It just can't be. Harry tries desperately not to think about Louis Tomlinson who broke his heart. He's happy now with a man proud to be with him.

Harry hasn't seen Louis in six years, he wonders what he looks like now. He's probably gorgeous, Harry thinks to himself. He remembers the bright blue eyes, tanned skin and the crinkles by his eyes when he smiled. He was stunning and Harry was a goner from the start.

He needed to get a grip, this Tomlinson will not be Louis and even if it is he doesn't care. Right? _Wrong._ Louis was the love of his life of course it would hurt to plan his fucking wedding to someone else. Harry loves Nick he knows he does. Nick is caring and attentive. He's funny, charming and great in bed but he will never replace Louis. Harry moves closer to Nick on the couch and wraps his arm around him. How could he want to sabotage what he has with Nick for an ex that was ashamed of him? He and Louis are history. Nick is able to love him in the open, he's been able to introduce him to his friends and family as his boyfriend. He couldn't do that with Louis and he hated it. He hated being Louis' dirty little secret. He hadn't been able to cope with it any longer and had given Louis an ultimatum they come out and stay together or they don't and break up. Louis had chosen the second option because he didn't love him enough. He would have done anything for Louis but he had chosen to leave him. _You forced him to choose between coming out and being with you._ Sometimes he thinks about if he hadn't asked Louis to make that choice would they still be together now? This thought hurts him a lot. He needed to stop obsessing about it though. Nick is great for Harry and would never break his heart. 

TBC


	3. Louis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eleanor can't make it to the appointment as has work and cannot take the time off so Louis goes on his own.

"Babe, I'm sorry but I can't take the time off work you'll have to go by yourself'',says Eleanor.

"Fine", Louis snaps. Then he storms out the house and drives to the appointment. When he gets there, he sits in the waiting room for five minutes until he's called. He then heads into the office and to his absolute shock is Harry Styles, his ex-boyfriend.

''Louis?"

"Harry?"

They both stare at each other hungrily.

"Are you marrying Danielle?"

Louis laughs loudly. 

"God no, we broke up five years ago, I'm marrying Eleanor."

"I see, it's been a long time , I'm still with Nick",he says with a smirk.

Louis scowls.

"See you're still jealous at least he's proud to be with me."

Louis pushes Harry against the wall.

"Listen to me, Styles i was incredibly proud to be your boyfriend, I was just a fucking idiot." Then then stare at each other and then they find themselves kissing desperately. Their arms are wrapped tightly around each other and their tongues tangling. _God he still loves him so much, after all these years. Crap he shouldn't be having these thoughts about his ex-boyfriend._

After five minutes of snogging, Louis pulls back.

"Shit Harry, we can't do this I have a fiance and you have a boyfriend. It's wrong."

"I know, you're right but it felt good didn't it?"

"Bloody hell Harry, yes it felt good okay? It's still wrong though. We broke up years ago we don't need to make this any harder then it has to be."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes of course I do", Louis snaps.

"More than you loved me?"

"Harry, please don't go there", Louis begs, rubbing his face with his hands.

"I just have to know, please."

"Okay, honestly? No that's not fucking possible okay? Do you have any idea of how much I loved you?"

"I don't really know anymore Louis, I thought you loved me as much as I loved you."

"I did! Bloody hell, you were my everything. You were the first person I thought about in the morning and the last person I thought about at night."

"I felt the same way about you and then I lost you."

"Well I lost you too."

"Louis," Harry starts.

"Please don't, I think it's best I leave now, goodbye Harry." _I love you_ , he thinks.

"Louis, I'm sorry."

Louis turns back round.

"What for? You haven't done anything."

"I tried to pressure you into coming out when you weren't ready."

"No baby no! Please don't blame yourself for this. I was a fucking idiot that ended the best thing I ever had because I was a coward."

Harry pulls him into a hug then. Louis is silently crying into his shoulder.

"Louis you weren't a coward you were just scared and that's okay."

"I lost you and that's not okay."

"You found someone else though." 

_Someone who will never hold a candle to you,_ he thinks but doesn't say.

"Yes I suppose so, you found someone too."

"I did." _I hope he isn't better than I was for you._

"I'm going to go now Harry, I need to sort my head out."

"Bye Louis."

~

Louis is sitting on the couch drinking a cup of tea when Eleanor walks in. She has just come home from work.

"Hey Louis, how did the appointment go?"

Louis' stomach churns with guilt. He had cheated on her. _It was just a kiss. It meant more to you than that! You're emotionally cheating too._

"It went fine love, how was your day?" _He does not want to talk about the appointment with her ever._

Eleanor launches into her story about her day. Louis listens at first but he eventually tunes her out. He can't stop thinking about Harry and the kiss. It was like the kiss had brought him back to life. It's never been like that with Eleanor. Kisses with Eleanor are nice but just that nothing more. She has gorgeous soft lips but they're different to Harry's more feminine. Which makes sense since Eleanor is a woman and Harry is a man. He can't help making comparisons between them sometimes and it drives him crazy but he can't seem to stop. 

Later that night when Eleanor tries to initiate sex with him he rejects her. He has never felt less aroused in his life. He feels like he wants to throw up. Eleanor looked hurt when he had refused her advances because he has never turned her down before. They have a regular sex life, going at it at least three times a week on a good week, four. He's just not in the mood. He can't have sex with his fiance when he is panicking about his ex-boyfriend. He definitely doesn't want to think about or be reminded of what sex with Harry was like. He's scared that he would draw comparisons and he wouldn't like what he found. 

TBC


	4. Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry can't stop thinking about Louis and plans to meet him that evening.

Harry is lying in bed with Nick after having great sex. Nick had fucked him so good and so hard. It had posed as a wonderful distraction from his thoughts of Louis after seeing him today. Louis had looked so beautiful and their kiss it was so passionate and fiery. It felt amazing. He had tried over the years to forget the feel of Louis' mouth on his but he couldn't, how could he? It was the best thing he'd ever felt other than having sex with him or cuddling with him or hearing him say 'I love you'. He was doing so well. He is in a loving relationship with Nick who loves him and he was moving on from Louis but now he has shown up in his life again and now he is planning his wedding. It feels like the world is playing a cruel joke on him. His phone beeps suddenly. It's a text from Louis. _Hey Harry, can I meet with you tonight please? I just need to see you._ Harry is shocked. He can't believe that Louis has asked to meet up with him. He doesn't think he should go meet him but he wants to is the thing. He tells Nick he is going out for a while. He meets Louis at a local park. 

"Hi Louis."

"Hello Harry, please sit down."

"Why did you want to see me?"

"I don't know, I just wanted to talk to you after what happened earlier today."

"You start."

"Okay well I'm sorry I shouldn't have kissed you. It wasn't fair. I mean you definitely shouldn't have kissed me back but I did initiate and truthfully if you had kissed me I'd probably respond the same way. I'm sorry that you're stuck as my wedding planner. I couldn't imagine planning your wedding to someone else. The thought is dreadful. I can hardly bare thinking about you getting married to anyone other than...", he says trailing off awkwardly.

"You?", Harry asks.

"Well yeah, look I know that is incredibly selfish when I'm engaged to someone else but it's the way I feel."

"I understand, I feel the same."

"God I'm sorry this must be so hard for you, I wish I didn't have to put you through this." 

"It's not like I can ask you to call off the wedding", Harry says bitterly.

"Harry", Louis says sadly.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have."

"No it's okay but you know I can't Harry. You have to understand that."

"I do understand, I think I should probably go home now, Nick will be wondering where I am."

Louis scowled. 

"Stay for five more minutes please."

"Okay just five minutes."

He stays for another half an hour. He's never been able to resist Louis' demands. It's like he's still wrapped around Louis' finger somehow. He really shouldn't be surprised.


	5. Louis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis feels bad for kissing Harry but he doesn't regret it.

Louis has not been able to stop thinking about that kiss with Harry all week long. It's like the kiss unraveled everything he's worked towards. He'd been moving on. He had found a beautiful woman who was now his fiance. He had been happy with her. She was great for him and he did care for her a lot but now his thoughts were consumed by Harry. He was absolutely dreading introducing Eleanor to Harry next week. He still hadn't told her that Harry is his ex-boyfriend or that he's bisexual yet. He knows he probably should but he's scared is the thing. No one but he and Harry know. _God Harry!_ He's had dreams about that kiss. He's been wanking off in the shower to thoughts of him. He's been putting off sex with Eleanor. He just can't touch her like that right now. Which is crazy because they're getting married! Anyway he likes having sex with her it's nowhere near as good as it was with Harry. It's the first time he has admitted that to himself but yes Harry was the best he ever had. God he really wants to sleep with Harry. Maybe they could have one last time together for closure? _No, he can't do that! He can't cheat on Eleanor. Both Harry and Eleanor deserve better than that._ Harry has a boyfriend. He's in a serious relationship with that knobhead Nick Grimshaw. _The slimy git._ He can't bare the thought of him touching _his_ Harry. However Harry wasn't his anymore he had to remember that but he had Harry first. He had got to kiss Harry first, touch his beautiful skin, make him come, make love to him hours on end. He wonders if Nick has ever made Harry come three times in a row?

He's such an arsehole! Their relationship was about so much more than just sex. It had been about love, comfort and security. He always felt safe in Harry's arms. Harry always made him feel better when he was down. They knew what the other was thinking without saying anything. It's never been like that with Eleanor. He doubts Harry has that with Nick. He knows he shouldn't wish for that to be the case. He should want Harry to be in the best relationship he's ever had but he's selfish and he hates that anyone could be better for Harry than him even if it's true. He wants to be the best Harry's had because Harry was the best Louis has ever had. It's fairer somehow. _At least that's what he tells himself._

TBC


	6. Harry

Harry spends most of the day in bed with Nick. They have hot sex, lots of kisses and cuddles, tickling matches which turns into more sex, they watch movies and eat popcorn. It's a great day. Nick still doesn't know that Harry is planning Louis' wedding and doesn't know how to tell him. He knows he should though and makes plan to tell him as soon as the wedding is over. He doesn't want Nick to feel insecure or that Harry has a chance of getting back together with Louis. _As if_ , Harry thinks bitterly. He feels bad for the thought he shouldn't _want_ to have Louis again. He's with someone who loves him unconditionally and no matter what Louis says he chose to remain closeted than stay with Harry.

That night he decides to meet Louis at a cafe to talk things through again. He meets Louis at Starbucks at 7pm.

"Hey Louis."

"Hi Harry, why did you want see me?"

"I just wanted to talk about our meeting on Tuesday."

"Ah okay."

"Does Eleanor know you and I used to date?"

"Um no she doesn't, I haven't told her yet."

"Of course you haven't", says Harry bitterly.

"Harry for gods sake don't be like this. I will tell her, it's just difficult to inform her that our wedding planner is my ex-boyfriend okay? She doesn't even know I'm attracted to blokes."

"Oh okay sorry, I guess it's not my business."

"It's fine, I'll sort it out."

"Do you think she'll take it well?"

"I don't know, I hope so."

"You're definitely not going to tell her about the kiss though?"

"Obviously not, she'd flip out", Louis says with an eye roll. 

"Well I wouldn't blame her! She'd probably worry that you might leave her for me." _Shit why did he say that? Fuck._

Louis looks to be in pain.

"Louis, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"No it's fine, don't worry about it."

"I mean it would never happen because you love her and I'm just a blast from the past."

Louis tugs on his hair hard. 

"Harry, god you're not just some random ex-boyfriend to me okay? You're special to me."

"You're special to me too." _Understatement of the century._

"Haz are you sure you want to plan my wedding?"

"Louis, it's too late to pull out now. I'm a professional and my careers on the line. I can't just back out of a job opportunity because of a personal history I may share with one of my clients. Of course I don't _want_ to plan your wedding to someone else." _The only wedding of yours I'd ever want to plan is ours and that's never going to happen._

"I'm sorry Harry, I'm so sorry. I couldn't be in your position."

"Look Louis, I really don't want your pity, it just makes me feel even more pathetic."

"Harry I don't pity you and you're not pathetic. I feel empathy towards you. I'm your former boyfriend and I'm getting married to someone else after I'd made promises to be with you always."

Harry doesn't know how to respond to that. He feels like he wants to curl up in a ball and cry. He feels tears beginning to drip down his face. He'd didn't want to think about all of the promises they made to each other and didn't keep. Why did Louis have to bring them up now?

When he looks at Louis he can see that he is crying too. He looks like he is in pain. He is clutching his stomach tightly like he is trying to hold himself together. He wonders if Louis feels the same way he does? Harry isn't the one getting married though! Louis' the one completely destroying their promise to each other. A part of him wants to comfort him but another part of him is angry and hurt.

"I should go," he says.

"Please don't go Harry", Louis begs. He looks even more distraught if that's even possible.

"I don't think this conversation is doing either of us any good Louis, look at the state of us?"

"You're right, I'm sorry. I should have known better than to bring this up. We can talk about something else", Louis suggests.

"What is there to talk about?"

"I don't know Harry, we don't necessarily have to talk. We could just sit here together until we've both calmed down. I don't think you should leave in this state."

"Thank you Louis, you always did look out for me."

"Of course I did because I cared about you. I still care about you a lot, more than you know."

"I care about you too."

TBC


	7. Louis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is nervous today he is introducing Eleanor to Harry he feels like he should tell her that he is his ex-boyfriend.

Louis feels anxious when he wakes up this morning. Today he is introducing Eleanor to Harry and he is panicking. He decides to tell her Harry is his ex-boyfriend but he's definitely not telling her that he recently kissed him and still loves him. He'll get a slap if he does. He'd so nearly told Harry he loved him yesterday. It hurt him to see Harry refer to himself as a 'blast from the past'. He was so much _more_ than that. 

''El babe, I have something to tell you, I'm bisexual and Harry is my ex-boyfriend."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Even my family didn't know darling, I wasn't ready to come out but I felt like you deserve to know the truth"  
"Thanks for telling me baby, I'm proud of you".

Louis feels full of guilt and shame. "You know I love you, right?" _He does love her just not romantically anymore._

"Yeah I know, I love you too."

She then gives him a big kiss on the cheek and they head off to their appointment to see Harry their wedding planner. They sit in the waiting room until their called in. They then knock on the door. Harry is sitting at his desk and looks gorgeous as usual. He looks very sombre, Louis thinks. Harry stands up with goes to greet them. He shakes Louis' hand and blushes slightly, probably at the memory of what happened last time they were in the room together. Louis blushes slightly too at that thought and adjusts his pants slightly. Harry then shakes Eleanor's hand and says:

"Hi, you must be Eleanor, I'm Harry it's lovely to meet you"  
"You too" She smiles.  
"Why don't we look at some designs for your wedding?"  
"Sure."  
They then proceed to look at the book and choose designs together. Louis and Eleanor are impressed with the designs. "Harry, I'm really impressed you're a superb designer, I can't wait to work with you," says Louis.  
"Surely, you already knew this, since you met up last week?"

Louis and Harry turn beetroot red.

"I wanted to wait for you babe" Louis lies.  
"Aw you're so sweet, isn't he wonderful?"  
"He sure is'' says Harry fondly.  
Louis gives Harry a look of shock.   
"Anyways, I agree with Louis, I really like your work".  
"Thank you, I really appreciate it" says Harry sincerely.  
"Harry, I was wondering if you'd be interested in coming dress shopping with me to help me find the perfect wedding dress?"  
Louis and Harry glance at each other. "Sure, I'd be happy to help".  
"Great, I'll give you my number and text you".  
"Okay, well it's coming to the end of our meeting, see you next week".  
Eleanor then gives her number to Harry and gives him a hug and kiss on the cheek. Louis then does the same and whispers "Thank you" in his ear.  
They then leave and Eleanor says "Harry is lovely, I really like him maybe we should invite him round for dinner sometime?"  
"Yeah he's a sweetheart and maybe after the wedding?" _He has zero plans of ever inviting Harry over for dinner._

God the wedding Louis is so not ready to get married. He loves her, she is absolutely incredible but he's never gotten over Harry and misses him desperately. He has never stopped loving him even after all this time. How can he marry someone else? He already had his heartbroken once and he's not sure if he can go through that again. He needs to get a grip.

~

Later that night, Eleanor won't stop gushing about Harry. _Great looks like Eleanor has fallen for Harry too!_ When she once again suggests inviting him round for dinner sometime, Louis nearly chokes on his tea. He can't imagine anything more awkward than having dinner with his fiance and ex-boyfriend especially when he still has feelings for said ex-boyfriend. _They're more than feelings. He wants have Harry in his arms and never let him go. He wishes his could change the past and choose differently. He could have had Harry forever. He could have married him. He could have had children with him._ Louis makes a choked up sound.

"Are you okay love?" Eleanor asks looking concerned.

"I'm fine babe, the tea went down the wrong pipe that's all", Louis lies trying to smile. _Fuck he loves Harry and they've only been back in each others lives for a short period of time._

"Would you find it weird having your ex round for dinner?"

"Um yes, I would being honest."

"He's planning our wedding though so it's not like there's still feelings there or anything." _She could not be more wrong if she tried._

Louis tries to smile at her but it comes out as more of a grimace.

"Sure darling", he says tightly. 

"So were you in a proper relationship with him then?"

"Yes, we lived together and had plans to spend the rest of our lives together," he says feeling choked up again. _He really doesn't want to talk about his past relationship with Harry especially not with Eleanor. It makes it harder for him to ignore what a terrible mistake he has made and harder to resist the urge to call off the wedding and beg Harry's forgiveness and duel Grimshaw to the death._

"I didn't realize it was that serious, I mean you didn't even tell anyone about your relationship."

"Because I was a coward not because I didn't love him", Louis snaps. _I love him more than I've ever loved you._

"Louis", Eleanor says shocked.

"Not now Eleanor", he snaps again.

He grabs his jacket and shoes and leaves the house. When he gets into his car. He allows the tears to fall, his body wracking with sobs. He needs to get away from here but he doesn't know where to go. He calls Harry.

"Hey Louis what's going on?"

"I can't stay at my house with Eleanor right now and I need some space and I don't know where to go."

"Well you could stay with me just for tonight, Nick is staying at his mum's house."

"Thank you Harry, you're too good to me."

"I know", he sighs. 

"I'll be at yours in 10 minutes."

"See you then."

He hangs up the phone. As he drives to Harry's he mulls over what he is going to say to him. It turns out he doesn't really know what to say. He has so many thoughts whirling around in his head and he is finding it difficult to focus on just one or two at a time.

~

When he arrives at Harry's he is greeted with a hug. He feels surprised by it but he sinks into it contentedly. When Harry leads Louis over to his couch to sit down he begins to interrogate.

"So what happened?"

"I got angry with Eleanor." 

"Okay do you want to tell me what she said or did to anger you?"

Louis scratches his head. He feels really awkward but he figures that he owes Harry the truth.

"Well she tried to imply that what I had with you wasn't serious because it was a secret and I lost it, I guess."

Harry looks shocked. His mouth is hanging wide open. He doesn't say anything so Louis keeps talking.

"I may have overreacted I mean she doesn't know our history but I hated her thinking that you were just a fling or some kind of affair. You were my whole world."

Harry makes a choking sound like he's trying to speak but can't.

"I may have been a coward, too scared to tell people how I felt about you but I was completely and wholeheartedly yours. You know that don't you?"

Harry makes another choking sound but this time manages to get a sentence out.

"Truthfully Louis I was scared sometimes that I didn't have you fully, even though you tried to make me feel that way but I believe you now."

"Harry, god I'm sorry that you ever doubted what you were to me."

"No, no Louis it's okay. I was just insecure I guess and vulnerable."

"Haz I felt vulnerable with you too, my feelings for you terrified me."

TBC


	8. Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is filled with guilt after meeting Eleanor. She is beautiful and lovely and could see why Louis wanted to marry her. He feels inadequate in comparison, he is just Louis' ex.

Harry has been feeling guilty since meeting Eleanor especially after Louis stayed at his house.. She is absolutely beautiful and lovely. He understands why Louis wants to marry her. He feels inadequate in comparison, he is just Louis' ex-boyfriend but Louis is world to him. His is the moon and the stars and shines as bright as the sun but he is happy with Nick. He loves him and wants to make him happy. He agreed to meet with Eleanor and doesn't break his word. He goes into town to meet Eleanor. She looks stunning, she is wearing a gorgeous pink dress with a slit in it showing her long shapely legs and sexy black boots. If Harry, wasn't gay he'd be swooning. "Hi darling, how are you, your dress is fabulous!"

"I'm good thanks babe and it's Gucci I love it, Lou bought it for me"  
"Wow, he likes to spoil you huh?"  
"Yeah, did he buy you things when you were a couple?"  
"He told you about our relationship? Yeah he did, he used to try and pay for all our dates but I wouldn't let him."  
"Why did you break up, if you don't mind me asking?"  
"We broke up because he wasn't ready to come out, so I got together with Nick and we're still together now"  
"Wow, Louis didn't tell me he was bisexual until yesterday".  
"Yeah he hasn't even told his family".  
"I know, anyways let's look at some nice dresses."  
They look at hundreds of dresses until they find the one. Eleanor looks incredible and the dress really highlights her beauty.  
"You look stunning, El".  
"Thanks love".

~ 

Later that day he meets Louis at the park again. 

"Louis, I feel so guilty after meeting Eleanor. She's lovely and I kissed her fiance."

"Haz no, it was my fault I initiated it, I should be the one feeling guilty."

"I'm the one emotionally cheating on my boyfriend and fantasizing about a man I can no longer have."

Louis looks like he is in pain.

"Harry, god I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You have to know that I feel the same way about you."

"You do but what about Eleanor?"

"Fuck, I don't know Harry. She's not you. She never will be and I'm a terrible person for wanting her to be."

"Then why are you marrying her?"

"Because I made a promise to her. I can't let her or my family down. Why are you with Nick?"

"I love him."

"Do you really?"

"Yes I do!"

"As much as you loved me?"

"No not even close."

Louis smiles at him then. Before he can even blink, Louis is pulling him in by the neck and kissing him. He kisses back he can't help it. He opens his mouth for Louis and molds his tongue with his. They stay like that snogging for the next fifteen minutes until Harry pulls back.

"Lou, I can't believe you did this again, why do you keep doing this?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Louis please don't", Harry begs.

"Harry I have to tell you, I can't keep it in any longer. I love you, I've never stopped loving you and I don't think I ever will", Louis says in earnest.

Harry has tears dripping down his face.

"Lou, god knows I love you too."

Louis kisses him again. Harry pulls back immediately this time round.

"For fucks sake Louis, you're marrying someone else, you can't kiss me and tell me you love me it's not fair to either me or her."

"I know, I'm such a mess Haz, I just can't bare the thought of never getting to touch you again. Never getting to hold you, kiss you or make love to you."

"Louis, please stop."

"I just feel like I need one last time with you, just one more time."

"Lou, I don't know."

"Please Harry, please."

"Okay."

"As in you'll have sex with me?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god."

Louis looks panicked. Harry is concerned. He hopes Louis is okay. 


	9. Louis

Louis is completely freaking out. Harry has just agreed to have sex with him after being apart for more than five years. He's hyperventilating. 

"Louis, calm down please, just relax we don't have to do this."

Louis breathes in and out slowly.

"I want to Harry, please I just needed a moment to process, it's been so long."

"I know it has, I've thought about this far too often."

"God Harry, me too. I can't even perform sexually with Eleanor anymore. I can't get hard for her."

"Louis, I think that might be a problem. I've not had any issues with Nick sexually."

"Can we _please_ not talk about you having sex with that prick, it makes me want to gag."

"Sorry, maybe you should try Viagra," Harry says with a smirk.

"Fuck off, I'm in my 20's. I bet I can still make you come three times in a row."

Harry groans softly, exposing his delectable neck. Louis attaches his mouth to it.

"I have no doubt, that you can."

Louis pulls him into a fierce kiss. It's bruising but so _so_ good!

"Come back to my house."

"What about Eleanor?"

"She's staying at her mum's house tonight so it will be just us."

"I don't know if I feel comfortable sleeping with you in the bed you share with her."

"We have a guestroom, we can go in there."

"Okay."

It's a ten minute walk to Louis' house that he shares with Eleanor.

"It's a nice house," Harry comments.

"Thanks, let's go upstairs."

Louis takes Harry by the hand and leads him up to the guest room. When they reach the bedroom, Louis pulls him in for a gentle and loving kiss. He feels so lucky that he gets to have this even just one more time. He can't believe that he allowed himself to lose this. He begins to take his clothes off. He pulls off his shirt and unbuttons his trousers, pulling them down along with his boxers until he is completely naked. He feels vulnerable all of sudden. It's been a long time since Harry has seen him naked and he's not as young as he used to be. He covers his stomach with his hands. Harry gently pulls his hands away from his stomach. 

"You're beautiful Louis so beautiful you don't have to hide from me."

Louis smiles at him.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Harry quickly strips off the rest of his clothing until he is naked too. Louis checks him out appreciating him in all of his naked glory. _God he hasn't felt arousal like this in years._ _He's never felt this hot for Eleanor, Danielle or anyone else but Harry._ Louis stands on his tiptoes and pulls him in for another kiss. This kiss is filthy and frantic. He feels desperate. He wants to feel all of him all at once. He wants Harry to be inside of him _now._ They both scramble onto the bed still kissing furiously. They're grinding against each other and can feel their cocks rubbing together. It feels incredible. 

"How do you want to do this Louis?"

"I want you to fuck me, I want you to fill me up."

"Fuck Lou, should we use a condom?"

"Well I'm clean and no one has put it in me since you."

Harry moans softly at that.

"I'm clean too, plus I always use a condom with Nick and I usually bottom anyway."

"We can do it that way if you want to?" Louis asks him. _He wouldn't mind. He'd love to feel Harry wrapped around him again. He wants to do that again, he hopes they'll have more than one round of sex._

"Louis you've seen your arse right? Of course I want to fuck you."

"Good that's good. Harry I want you to come inside of me. I want to feel like I'm yours and you're mine just for tonight please."

"Louis, I swear you're going to be the death of me but yes I will, I want that too."

Harry gets up quickly to grab the lube from the bedside table. He pours it on three of his fingers.

TBC


	10. Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry feels guilty. Louis tries to comfort him.

Harry feels disgusting. He had sex with an engaged man. He had cheated on his boyfriend. He starts crying. Louis wakes up and sees Harry crying.

"Baby what's wrong, are you okay?", he asks sounding very concerned.

"I'm disgusting, I feel horrible." _He'd had sex with Louis in the house he shares with Eleanor._

"Harry, please listen to me. You are absolutely not disgusting. This was my idea. I manipulated you into doing this. It's my fault, you're not to blame at all."

"No no Lou, you didn't manipulate me at all, I wanted this as much as you did. It takes two to tango." _He'd wanted it so badly he didn't feel pressured into it at all._

"I wish you didn't regret this though as much as I feel guilty I really don't regret it."

"Lou, I don't regret this either, I just feel bad." _He definitely doesn't regret it._

"I'm sorry babe."

"I think I'm going to end things with Nick, I'm not being fair to him."

"Are you sure you want to do that."

"I do." 

"I'm so selfish Harry, I'm sorry. If I could leave Eleanor for you, I would but I can't. I just can't."

"I get it", he responds sadly.

"Can I kiss you?"

_He shouldn't agree to this and he shouldn't want this but he does._

"Please."

Louis smiles at him sadly and pulls him in for a gentle kiss. After a couple of minutes they pull back.

"I should leave," Harry says.

"Wait not yet at least stay for breakfast."

"Okay, I'll make you something if you want."

"You don't have to do that."

"I'd like to."

"Okay, thanks baby."

TBC


	11. Louis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding is drawing closer.

The wedding is getting closer and closer. Louis is panicked about it. It will happen in only a couple of weeks from now. He don't know if he can go through with it. He knows he's mistaking a horrible mistake and that he will regret it afterwards. They'll probably end up getting a divorce anyway. Eleanor doesn't do anything for him anymore. He doesn't feel attracted to her anymore. All he can see and _feel_ is Harry. Sleeping with Harry a few months ago hasn't gotten it out of his system. He wants it again and again. He _loves_ Harry deeply and desperately. He wishes he could pull out of this and run into the sunset with Harry. Harry was a single man now he had ended things with Nick after sleeping with Louis. It made Louis feel guilty as sin. Harry had given up his long-term relationship for him and he couldn't do the same thing. _He's a complete arsehole. If there's a second life he's going to come back as a dung-_ _beetle_

TBC


	12. Harry

Louis getting married today and Harry feels broken. He has made the decision to not attend the wedding even though he has planned it for months now with Louis and Eleanor. He stays in bed most of that morning, crying with a huge box of tissues on his lap. He feels shocked when he hears the doorbell ring. He quickly wipes his eyes with a tissue and walks over to the door. He takes a deep breath and open it. He nearly gasps out loud. _It's Louis._ He looks incredible standing there in his wedding suit. _Did he just get married? Why is he here rather than at the wedding party or with his wife?_ Louis looks nervous he pulls at the collar of his shirt and tentatively asks if he can come in. Harry moves to the side to let him in.

"Why are you here Louis shouldn't you be with your wife?", he asks.

"Well I can't be with my wife since I don't have one."

"You didn't marry her?" Harry asks. He's completely shocked.

"No I didn't how could I possibly marry her, when I'm completely head over heels in love with you."

Harry starts crying again. He feels so relieved and happy. 

"I love you so much."

Louis smiles at him and pulls him in for a hug. He kisses Harry's hair softly and whispers sweet nothings in his ear. 

Harry's so glad he has this again. Harry kisses Louis.

Louis kisses him back enthusiastically.

"I love you", Louis says.

"I love you too."

"I'm never letting you go again."

"Neither will I."

TBC


End file.
